A Lot Of Nothing With No Something

PART ONE: Here Comes The Bride?

Where to begin. Where to begin. This is a story about some crazy kooked out kids who set off on an adventure. There were highs. There were lows. There was wild rumpus. "Fat Chihuahua's" was googled. There was pizza. The Bandit took over and a couch was comondered.

It all started on a sunny yet chilly thursday afternoon. Two kids and a mini dog punched out of Thanh Do and made their way to I35. The drive was long and feroucous but perservere they did. They swooped through Clarksville to pick up ManiSETH destiny and away they went to Waterloo "Lootown" IA.

These guys were there.So was this guy.......

Then this happened. But wait...wait....this is just the beginning. After a good nights sleep was had in Waterloo the troops moved on headed due south to the one and only Iowa city (there actually are other Iowa cities....this is a lie).

It all started with a sign on the side of the road. "worlds largest frying pan". My curiousity was piqued. Who couldn't resist a large frying pan?Impressive right? Not really. Worth it? maybe. Is Brandon one of the shittiest towns in the midwest? yes.

But this lady seems to thouroughly enjoy living in Brandon. However, she prefers her frying pans to be made of stainless steele.









She also enjoys this beverage------------------------>

*so does kyle

Onward and upward to Iowa City they drove with no knowledge of events to come. No expectations. Just the feeling of being free.

Yesssssss. More dogs. It's a story of love really. Jumbo+Bijou.

Love in full bloom. When two soul's find their mate's there is only one thing left to do.

MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This priest is tri-lingual. He can speak English, Dog, and Bear.

The Bride and Groom with the wedding photographer.

The wedding guests arrived and were in place. Anxiously awaiting the big moment a few of them literally tipped over.

The Bridal party was in place with the flower girl holding the most prestigious position. There was massive debate on who is "worthy" of the flower girl position. Ultimately tiny the ( NOT beenie baby/ NOT stuffed) chihuahua won.

The Dolphin is the man of honor. The Dalmatian is a groomsman. The other thing is the ring bearer.

Chaos ensued but ultimately the ceremony came and went. The father of the groom congratulated the couple and away they went. Then party time central. YMCA was danced. Then the two crazy lovey dovey cutesy wootsey kids trotted off into the sunset in what is now fondly remembered as a tearful and touching moment where love triumphed over something. But at some point the pink honey moon umbrella closes shut and the kids have to move on to more and equally meaningless pish posh. (Yet less dog-centric)

TO BE CONTINUED

is "anti-cool" the new "cool"?

So it is now October. My last post was in April. The past five months have been a vortex of nothingness. That's summer I guess. This is the first fall in twenty years that I have not been in school. It's scary. What am I supposed to do now? Where am I supposed to go? What do you do when you can do anything? where do you go when you can go anywhere? I am not sure. I have begun doing photography again. That's a start. I am writing again...sort of. Mostly I have spent the past five months zoning out...mainly watching too much T.V., drinking too much booze, and being generally depressed by humanity. People are not only getting more stupid but they are also turning mean. Capitalism has created human beings that are greedy, self absorbed, and waste-ful. As a species we no longer understand how to interact with each other in meaningful ways. Everything is so shallowly egotistical and pompous. What "cool" music are you listening to? what "cool" clothes are you wearing? what "cool" drinks are you drinking? what "cool" things are you talking about, thinking about, riding your bike to? This shit matters but does it have to matter sooo much?

Every "cool" person is a slightly differing version of every other "cool" person. Those who do not fit the "cool" mold aren't even seen or are relentlessly mocked. There are "cool" crowds that are slightly differing versions of other "cool" crowds.

"Cool" is an issue that needs to be addressed.

....and....Still...Going...

I woke up this morning with a 15 page paper looming over me, a gnarly cold, and menstrual cramps after spending the night tossing and turning. It's amazing how some nights the brain just can't seem to turn itself off. Being sick and all this was a major bummer. As of this moment my paper, which ended up being 17 pages, has been turned in. My presentation has been given. I am done. When I say "done" I mean really really really done. I had the last class of my career as an undergrad. I wrote my last paper as an undergrad. I gave my final presentation as an undergrad. As soon as my diploma comes in the mail I will have a degree. It's all very surreal and startling and amazing. The gravity of it all hasn't set in yet.

I wrote. I wrote. I wrote. And here I am. Still writing.

I entered college in 2002 because my father wanted to see me doing something. I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to go to art school. I wanted to move away. In actuality I had absolutely no idea what I wanted. It took two semesters, and the inspiration of a certain Kyle out there, before I realized that I wanted to learn. I wanted to earn a degree....in....something. And a degree in something is what I have. More importantly than that is the self I have gained through my last five years as a student. I have gained perspective. I have acquired a voice. I have a brain that is shaping up to be pretty awesome. I have worked hard. So here I am...using my blog as a diary...to give kudos to myself. Really the only person who I should be receiving kudos from is myself. I am the only person who didn't think I could do it. I am the only person who didn't think I was good enough or smart enough. Most of all I am inspired. This degree isn't a piece of paper that entitles me to a higher hourly wage it's a stepping stone. Move on. Move up. Learn more.Create more. Strive for more. (After I take a year off of course)

Lately when people find out that I am graduating they are surprised at the fact that I am not more excited. I am excited. Here, in this one short blog, is where I am going to contain that excitement. I am very lucky. I have a path, a partner, and the most awesome dog that has ever existed. So, for tonight, I will table the anxiety and be happy living my life. The constant nausea that has plagued my life for the past two months is over. I am done. Really Really Really done.

I Need a Drink

I Just finished one of my last papers and classes as an undergraduate. One paper, presentation, and class to go. For some reason uploading photo's helped quell the nausea that is brought on by finals. Not to mention the panicky..."what am I going to do with my life?!?!" feeling. These pictures help make the anxiety settle.

Next week, if all goes as planned, I will have a degree.

wow...this is dull

Still no word on the Perkin's tip. That's probably for the best. Another distraction might cause me to "lose it". I spent the better half of the day trying to find a book I lost. I finally found it my college book store and re-bought it. A few hours later my boyfriend found my original copy in the book shelf. It's some what frustrating because I nearly had a panic attack trying to track it down but overall I'm pretty stoked to have my highlighted notated copy.

The book in question is "The Lives of Animals" by J.M. Coetzee. It is really interesting for a number of reasons. It is a series of fictional lectures that Coetzee gave as a lecture. Therefore the reader has absolutely no idea what Coetzee's viewpoints actually are. It presents an interesting platform to think about what it means to be a human being. Especially, what it means to be a human being that eats animals. Anyway, I am using it to write a paper which is why I freaked out.

Yesterday I was thinking about concerts I regret not going to. George Michael is coming to town and I am not sure if I should go or not. His album "Faith" is one of my favorite albums of all time but I am not sure if I should really pay to see him preform it. This led to a discussion between my boyfriend and I about passing up the chance to see "Guns n' Roses" which we both decided was a tremendous mistake (duh! Skid Row opened). Then, later on in the day, we stumbled across a video tape of Guns n' Roses live in Tokyo circa 1992. What kind of happenstance is that? (yesterday I also scored some Chanel clip on earrings and a mega phone...epic) For those of you who don't go to estate sales or garage sales you are majorly missing out.

I Don't Feel Fine

While dining at Perkins yesterday I noticed a book entitled "The End of the World" being used as a decoration. When I asked the hostess what the deal was she said that the book is a prop. In fact the book is ceramic and it is "taped" to other books which are surrounding it. These "books" are on a shelf above a table which got sat with a group of five people before I could examine them (don't worry, I am going back tonight, with my camera). From my vantage point all I could make out was the title, not the author or the names of the surrounding books. It all seems fishy. Why would Perkins use fake books at all? I am sure that used books are much cheaper. Plus, when deciding on a fake book title to display at a family restaurant why would "The End of The World" even be a contender? I have been doing research with little luck. I have e-mailed Perkins...we'll see what they say. If they don't respond I will call. While researching I came across another soul with a similar Perkins dilemma. Only his is much more hilarious. Check this out.

Anyway, why would one want to be confronted with the possible immanent Apocalypse while eating greasy fatty Perkins food? I nearly had a panic attack. Not to mention our waiter was an alien. Later on last night I caught Jack Van Impe. More Apocalypse propaganda! now I am not a super religious person or anything but the idea of living through an Apocalypse really scares the shit out of me (not literally...yet). And no matter where I go the "A" word follows. I need to know what all of this means. The hostess said that in the two years she has been working for Perkins not a single person had noticed that book before, including her. How could you not?!?! This leads me to believe that in fact the book had not existed with that title in that spot until the moment my eyes saw it. It's all very much like the Matrix...only scarier....because it's my life. This is not fiction people!! If I suddenly disappear you'll all know why.

Anyway I am attempting to unmask this whole Perkins conspiracy and get to the bottom of what really is going on. Wish me luck my peeps. I am embarking on a journey that will lead me into some pretty treacherous water. I will keep you posted..unless it becomes too dangerous. Fear not my friends. The truth is out there and I am willing to put myself out there to find it.

To Get to Place Where You Could Love Anything You Chose

Some how over the past few months my life has pretty much become about Toni Morrison. Reading her ficional books (Sula, Beloved, and The Bluest Eye...so far), reading her non-fictional works (Playing in the Dark, essays, speeches, quotes), reading literary critiques of her works, reading philosophical essays that can be applied to her works, reading works by authors who influenced her (Richard Wright, Faulkner), Feeling guilty about not reading other works that have influenced her (Ralph Ellison, Virginia Woolfe, Proust, and many other modernists), Writing about her, obsessing over her, trying to get a clear idea of what is going on in these novels, ruminating over her commentary on society, western "white" culture, race, and class. She is not only one of the most influential writers of the 20th century but she is also an amazingly sharp intellectual with many brilliant things to say about American culture.

So when you're wondering where the hell I am.....I hope this post answers your questions. If you want to discuss Toni Morrison with me I am all ears. But Toni Morrison is between me and graduation so don't get bummed out when I choose her over you.

I don't even have time for a birthday this year.